Beacon Above THE DEEP

A strong slap of ocean spray rouses me from my short respite.  Slowly settling back into reality, I find rest has done little to improve my overall wellbeing.  Truthfully, I can no longer gauge how long I managed to find sleep; mere seconds or hours, either way, I wished for more.  But no matter what I try, sleep evades me as the persistent sun and ocean collude against my best efforts.  

Attempting to remember the sun’s last residence, I find myself unable to recall much of this time spent adrift.  It all blends together so easily.  A harsh dryness in my throat further disrupts any attempt to focus.  Eyes straining in the harsh sunlight, movement sends a sudden jolt through my body as dark shadows dance within the waves.  A threat lies in wait.  

My mind envisions two outcomes, but I dare not speak of the first.  Refusing to give it any more power, I steel myself away from its corrupting presence.  Imagining a physical line between us, I tell myself simply to never cross it.  Despite this, fear waltzes over onto my side of the line and sits nestled within my every thought.  It cannot be helped.  I cannot ignore it.  By now, a positive outcome feels unlikely.  Nevertheless, I must try.  

Darkness falls and with it brings a sliver of hope.  Though the fear of what lurks beneath the waves grows, so too does the possibility of discerning which way leads toward land.  That is, if only the clouds would part.  It seemed as though the clouds manifested each night just to spite me.  But even without the guidance of the stars, one final ray of hope remained.  It was the main reason I forced myself to try to sleep during the day.  Scanning the horizon, rotating around to check every direction, I am desperate for the sight of the beacon.  I thought I saw it once, but now… I’m not really sure I ever did.  The possibility of reaching it feels lost.  If only I could feel its light upon me though, I’d settle for simply seeing even the smallest, faintest, far-off glint in the dark.